Lately, I’ve noticed myself waking up angrier than usual. Maybe you’ve felt it too—a sudden rush of frustration, almost like a low-burning rage that bubbles up for no apparent reason. For someone like me who strives to stay present and calm, this shift has been unsettling. So, I decided to explore these feelings a bit more because, let’s face it, carrying anger around isn’t good for anyone’s health.

Recently, my life changed in a big way. I moved into my dream home—a topic I’ll delve into soon (because visualizing your dreams is a powerful thing). But today, I want to stay focused on something else. This move disrupted my carefully crafted retirement routine, one that I’d grown to depend on. Before the move, I had a morning ritual: waking up, meditating with Stress Free With Deepak Chopra Meditations, and working hard to stay present. And when the day got going, I stuck with it. I even had an amazing yoga chair (yes, that’s a thing!) that kept me grounded.

Now, looking back, I can see how the interruption to this routine was the start of my anger spiral. However, it was more than that. You see, I am a terrible sleeper, so it’s not uncommon for me to wake up at crazy hours of the night while most of you are in dreamland. If you’ve ever found yourself awake at that hour, you’ve probably reached for your phone and started scrolling through social media. I used to enjoy social media to connect with family I don’t see very often. It makes me feel like I know what’s going on with them even if we are miles apart. I am also obsessed with dog reels—hanged and not for the greater good. I wasn’t just scrolling for fun anymore. I found myself getting angry, especially over political posts. I even started having more fights with family members over politics and different world views. Suddenly, the joy of seeing my friends’ grandchildren or someone’s glorious vacation pictures was overshadowed by my anger. I was making comments on people’s posts to get my points across because I thought theirs was ludicrous. Then, to make matters worse, I got addicted to reading the online news. Yes, I literally felt addicted to pushing that news icon to read headlines that made me angry. Why was I doing this to myself? I know headlines are designed to grab attention, and negativity sells, but I was still falling into the trap.

Now that I had found the source of my anger it was time to find Hope. I keep my prototype dolls of the characters in my book—Hope, Opportunity, Optimistic, Opposite, and let’s not forget Obstacle—next to my desk I look at them for inspiration. In  When Opportunity Knocks, Obstacle is sometimes viewed as a negative Op.  Since I have been feeling negative it was time to get past this obstacle of anger and find Hope in this world again.

 I can do what a lot of us decide to do and give up social media for a while, but ignoring the problem would not fix the problem. Besides, I seriously didn’t want to give up my dog reels. They brought joy to my life. I could stop reading the news online, but I wanted to stay informed so shutting out all news was not the answer for me. I was not prepared to give up seeing Gail King on CBS in the morning. I love to see her outfits because I also have a passion for fashion but again, I digress. So, what did I do?

“The first step is to breathe—taking deep, intentional breaths to reconnect with what Deepak Chopra might refer to as your ‘true self.’ Even if you’re not interested in the concept of ‘conscious living,’ that’s okay, because as a nurse, I know that breathing has a proven physiological effect. By focusing on deep breaths, you can effectively override the body’s fight-or-flight response, transitioning into a more relaxed and balanced state. This simple act sets off a series of physiological changes that work together to calm both your mind and body. So, whenever you find yourself in a tense situation, pause for a moment and just breathe.”

“Now that my parasympathetic nervous system is up and running, the next step is to put down my electronic device or excuse myself from the conversation. After all, we’ve all been there, and responding in anger never ends well. How could it, when we’re stuck in fight mode? Instead, I’m suggesting a strategic retreat—a flight response. However, I found this to be only a temporary fix, so I had to dig a little deeper to find a lasting solution.”

I made some decisions. Live by my true self. Like most of us I was taught the values of respecting others. Back in the day, I would be grounded if I spoke harsh words to another person or lashed out in a hateful way.  So why as an adult would I think this was ok. If I needed to respond, I would take my breath or break and try to focus on respectful dialogue rather than reacting to anger. By doing this, I found that conversations with friends—who at times felt like adversaries—became more constructive. Most of the time, we didn’t change each other’s opinions, but we agreed to disagree and remained friends.

Which brings me to another point, despite our differences, we are more alike than not. These are the same people I have as friends for a reason, we shared moments in our lives together. With that in mind, I asked myself: Do I really want to spend the last quarter of my life fighting with the people that made my life special to begin with? Life is too short to waste on negativity, and that realization became a new mantra for me: ‘Life is short, use it wisely.’ Rather than engaging in arguments or letting negative posts affect me, I chose a more peaceful path. When someone regularly shared comments that were hurtful or triggering for me, I decided to quietly snooze their posts for a while. This small action helped decrease the amount of content that was affecting me.  Ultimately, these decisions have helped cultivate more peace in my life.

Now for those who are passionate about their beliefs and want to get “the word out” that’s okay. I respect those that fight for their causes with conviction, and I applaud their dedication. However, it’s possible to share your message with respect for those who may not agree. I see people argue over all kinds of posts. I once saw an argument break out over a prayer post. While you can’t eliminate those who are here just to argue, you can potentially reduce their impact by setting your ego aside. Humility is essential to leading a happy life. Humility doesn’t mean diminishing yourself or your values; rather, it involves recognizing that others’ perspectives are just as valuable to them as yours are to you.

Let me give you an example. I belonged to a social media group page that was specific to the town I lived in. It was a community page meant to share activities and businesses in the area. Over time, it started turning nasty, with hateful and rude comments over something as simple as a recommendation!  I posed the question: When did this page stop being a community page? Some posts should be saved for people’s personal media accounts. My question received some thumbs up and likes but I also got just as many angry comments. I spent the day responding to all of them. I started with an apology for making them feel a certain way and that was not my intent. Some would come back with more issues and I would humbly explain my perspective on the issues they raised. I got a lot of thanks and the heat came down. By the end of that day the page was removed and replaced with a 2.0 version that would delete negative comments. That was over four years ago and it has since remained a positive space for the good of the community. This experience showed me that, in a small way, we can create positive change—even when that isn’t our original intent.”

One of my key techniques in any situation is to educate, because I believe knowledge is power. I’ve always loved teaching, and it’s a way to combat misinformation and fear.

 “It’s easy to get caught up in false information, especially when we hear the same unverified statements repeated over and over. If we aren’t careful, these can start to feel like the truth. That’s why it’s so important to research using reputable sources and avoid sharing or repeating things that have no basis in fact.

If you’re passionate about your worldview, I respect and applaud that. However, I’ve come to realize that much of the negativity we see today isn’t driven by anger—it’s rooted in fear. Fear of the unknown or of losing one’s place in the world often fuels this tension.

When engaging in a discussion, I ask myself: Am I right, or are you? But before jumping to conclusions, I take a step back and ask whether I can truly support my stance with evidence. I’ve caught myself in heated discussions repeating things I’ve heard as fact, only to stop and question: Is that really true? If I can’t confidently back it up with credible information, I reevaluate my position. As a nurse, I have also told patients not to use Dr Google because you may come across incorrect advice from any search engine. So, with that I also warn about finding an unbiased reliable source to fact check.

We are not a hateful society. The one good thing that comes out of some tragic times or natural disasters that we have all been seeing more of lately is the human response. People have empathy for each other, and we see wonderful stories of strangers helping strangers. I like to believe if we can remember to cut back on promoting negativity we CAN create more positivity.

“So, how do we find hope amidst all of this turmoil?

I believe it starts with listening—truly listening to each other, not with the intent to respond or win, but to understand. If we take the time to listen, we may discover that underneath our differences are shared fears, aspirations, and values. Even when we disagree, there’s value in recognizing our shared humanity.

We can’t build bridges overnight, but we can begin by choosing respect and empathy over judgment. Instead of letting fear or misinformation drive us apart, we can commit to seeking the truth from reliable sources and having open, honest conversations. This means letting go of the need to be right all the time and embracing the idea that none of us has all the answers—but together, we might find some.

It’s about choosing to believe in our collective capacity for change and progress, even when it feels hard. It’s about holding onto the belief that, despite our differences, we are more alike than not.

Take this opportunity to stop! Breathe, listen and talk to those that you fear or disagree with the most.  Letting go of negativity and seeking the positive in both you and others is the best way to find hope—for yourself and for all of us.”