Are you starting to feel like hopelessness is creeping in?  How do we cope with that sinking feeling and near panic attack when we are inundated daily with news of global destruction from weather, political chaos, financial uncertainties, healthcare and well just about everything these days. It is overwhelming. That sinking feeling, the near panic, can feel impossible to escape. But here’s the truth: hope isn’t lost unless we let it be. Every day offers a chance to get up and fight for hope. I refuse to let anyone, or anything take that away from me—and you don’t have to, either.

The past few weeks, I’ve felt a heaviness surrounding the universe I’m bound to. Some mornings, I wake up thinking, I’m stuck in this human experience, and there’s little I can do to change it. But then I remind myself of a simple truth: I am a spiritual being having a human experience. And that experience can be whatever I choose to make of it.

If I focus on how hard and unfair life is, it’s easy to stay stuck in negativity. But I also have the choice to lose those feelings of dread and loss. I can decide to ‘fake it until I make it.’ Telling myself, my life is perfect, might feel like a stretch at first—maybe even a lie. But isn’t it a healthier option than holding onto despair? Even if it doesn’t change how I feel immediately, it’s a step toward something better. And if you’re skeptical, let’s turn to science for some clear and compelling evidence.

When you constantly repeat a message—whether positive or negative—it affects your brain’s neural pathways, cognitive biases, and emotional states. Here’s what happens:

1. Formation of Neural Pathways

The brain operates on the principle of neuroplasticity, meaning it can reorganize itself by forming new neural connections based on repetitive thoughts or behaviors.

When I was a kid, we had to walk to school. I know what you’re thinking, that was child abuse, and yes it was uphill in the snow both ways, but we survived. We would walk through a cemetery because it was faster. That was fine during the day but walking home in the dark not so much. Yet we still did it because that was the path, we took every day. Your brain will follow the paths you use most often, so why haunt yourself when you could stroll through a sunny garden instead?

• Bad Messages: Mondays Suck. Repeating negative messages strengthens neural pathways associated with fear, stress, and negativity. Over time, these pathways become dominant, making it easier for the brain to default to negative thought patterns. This can lead to conditions like anxiety or depression. Then we wonder why we are depressed on Mondays.
• Good Messages: Mondays are great because it is a fresh start to the week. Repeating positive messages builds and reinforces neural pathways related to optimism, gratitude, and happiness. This helps create a positive feedback loop, making it easier to think positively in the future.

Okay, maybe that’s a bad example, because Mondays are kind of meant to suck. But then I started feeling bad for poor Monday, everyone hating it all the time, so I’ve decided to give it a break and not pick on it anymore.

2. Activation of the Reticular Activating System (RAS)

The Reticular Activating System (RAS) is like your brain’s personal assistant. It’s a network of nerves located in the brainstem that filters the large amount of information you encounter every second and decides what’s important enough for your conscious brain to notice.

Think of it this way: If your brain were an email inbox, the RAS would be the spam filter and priority sorter. It helps you focus on what matters most based on your thoughts, goals, and environment. In short, the RAS is your brain’s gatekeeper, letting in what you care about and quietly ignoring the rest!

• Bad Messages: Sitting in traffic is the worst.  If you focus on negative thoughts, the RAS tunes in to similar negative stimuli in your environment. This reinforces your perception of negativity and makes you more likely to notice bad things.

I am pretty sure it contributed to my road rage every morning on the Jersey Turnpike. I was fighting yelling at everyone and by the time I got to work I was exhausted from everyone that I noticed who was not driving to my liking.

• Good Messages: Traffic is a part of my commute so I will take this time to make the best of it. Positive repetition helps the RAS focus on optimistic or uplifting stimuli, encouraging a positive outlook and boosting resilience.

You do have to be resilient to drive the Jersey Turnpike. But I did turn it around to a better experience and started to notice the beautiful sunrise. I got to appreciate some mornings, or the fascination of the planes that flew over my car from Newark Airport. This led me to visualize on which plane I would be getting on to get to Bora Bora. We did get there but that’s a great story for another day.

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3. Influence on Hormones

 What you repeatedly think affects your brain’s chemical balance, shaping how you feel and act.

• Bad Messages: I will never have hope again. Negative messages can increase cortisol (the stress hormone), which impairs memory, learning, and emotional regulation over time.

Your brain is like a blender, mixing up “feelings ” based on your thoughts. If you keep thinking, “I’ll never have hope again,” your brain serves up a stress mix called cortisol, and it leaves you anxious and foggy.

• Good Messages: Hope is always on my horizon. I will find a little hope in something every day. Positive repetition promotes the release of dopamine and serotonin, which improve mood, motivation, and overall mental well-being.

Your brain blends up a better mixture of dopamine and serotonin that leaves you motivated and hopeful. Moral of the story: Be careful what you order from your brain’s menu, because it’s always mixing what you’re thinking!

4. Cognitive Bias Development

Your brain develops biases based on repeated thought patterns. Your brain is like a detective, and it LOVES to prove you right even if you’re wrong! Whatever you think repeatedly, your brain goes, let’s go get the evidence to prove this. My husband says this describes me but I explained, this is a character trait I got from my adopted family. Well, I have no evidence of adoption but now I know it is a cognitive bias. Who knew, I did because I am always right 😊. I guess I will have to work on this one a bit more.

• Bad Messages: Everyone is judging me. Repeating self-critical or negative statements reinforces a “negative confirmation bias,” where you tend to see evidence that supports the negative belief. Your brain starts to look for evidence and your imagination will fill in the gaps.

 If someone happens to glance in your direction, do you start thinking, they don’t like my outfit, or I saw them whispering it must be about me.

• Good Messages: Most people are focused on themselves, not me. Repeating affirming statements builds a “positive confirmation bias,” helping you notice and appreciate uplifting evidence in your life.

Someone once told me the best part of getting older is you don’t care what people think. I do find this to be true so my good message is I don’t give a F$$$ what you think of me. If you are not there yet, you can try something like this, they are admiring my wonderful style. Your brain is like social media, it’ll keep showing you what you engage with most. Focus on good vibes, and the judgment fears will scroll away! Basically, change your algorithm.

5. Emotional and Behavioral Impact

The type of messages you repeat shapes your emotional responses and behaviors. Like cognitive bias development which perceives the world. Emotional and behavioral impact shapes how you respond to the world, both emotionally and through your actions.

The world around us has become more divisive lately and I hear this message being thrown around more often. We must be careful with this and stop programing our brain to promote distrust towards others we know nothing about.

• Bad Messages: I can’t stand people they are just rude and obnoxious. Over time, negative messages can lead to a heightened stress response, your brain interprets this message as a threat, triggering feelings of hopelessness, distrust, and avoidance behaviors.

Since the holidays are approaching, I would like you all to think about the Bumble from Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer. He was the big abominable snowman that everyone feared. Turns out he was just misunderstood, possibly because of how he looked. The Bumble represents how someone who seems scary or unapproachable at first may just need understanding and a chance to show their softer side. I don’t recommend hating anyone, especially if you never got to know them. Remember what happened in When Opportunity Knocks and you met Opposite OP?

• Good Messages: Everyone has a story I don’t know yet, and many people are kind if I give them a chance. Positive messages like this strengthen neural circuits associated with empathy, optimism, and openness.

 I think we should try to give people the benefit of the doubt. We have no idea what is going on in their neural pathways. I remember a time when I was running a very busy clinic, completely absorbed in thoughts solely focused on the activities I needed to attend to that day. One day I realized I walked by the security guard and others without acknowledging them. They probably thought I was rude, and it turns out, they did! I apologized and explained that I tend to get lost in my own thoughts (a bit of a scary place, honestly). She laughed, and I made a new friend. After that, I made it a point to get out of my head, and she made it a point to bring me back to the present when I wasn’t and appreciate my surroundings.

I do my best teaching through stories so here is one to break this down. Neuroplasticity is like your brain’s “remodeling” superpower. Imagine your brain as a big city with roads (neurons) connecting different places (thoughts, habits, skills). If you keep driving down the same road, it gets smoother and faster, like a paved highway. But if you stop using it, weeds grow, and it gets harder to travel.

Now, if you want to build a new road, breaking negative thinking, you have to take the scenic, bumpy route at first. It may not be comfortable but is necessary for the long term but the more you use it, the smoother it gets. Your brain is constantly upgrading its road map based on where you travel most. So, whether it’s practicing kindness, or stressing less about the negative world around you, your brain says, “Cool, let’s make that easier!”

Bottom line: Be picky about the roads you pave, because your brain will make them permanent if you keep using them!

So, where do we go from here? I asked my husband how he deals with feelings of hopelessness, and he laughed, saying, ‘Alcohol.’ Sure, it’s a quick fix, one many of us may have turned to recently, but it’s not exactly a long-term solution. His second answer, however, offered more help: taking a bike ride through one of the nearby nature trails. Now that’s something worth exploring, a path to clarity, calm, and lasting hope.

The point being is you must find an outlet that works for you. Based on the science we just explored, a good starting point when faced with thoughts of hopelessness is to interrupt the cycle of negative thinking. Start practicing mindfulness, reframing thoughts, or using affirmations such as; challenges are temporary; my hope and strength are constant. Positive thoughts can help disrupt negative patterns and will strengthen positive pathways.

Now that we have science to back me up, I can tell you that practice makes perfect. The first step is to decide you are done with this feeling of hopelessness and are committed to finding hope. Start simply by taking a minute to look at all the good around you. For example, my life is great because I have a dog. Well, it’s great for many reasons, including my husband, two dogs, and a cat, but you get the idea. What’s the worst that can happen? Challenge yourself to find one thing, a single piece of hope or joy, and build from there. Little by little, you’ll see how these moments add up.

 Recently, while on a plane, I watched the sunrise over the horizon. The beauty was breathtaking, a reminder that no matter how dark the night, the sun will rise again, filling the sky with light and promise. That horizon was a symbol of everything I needed in that moment: hope, peace, and the reminder that each day brings a fresh start.

So, as we face life’s challenges, let’s remember to look for the horizon in our own lives. Whether it’s in a sunrise, a kind word, or a moment of gratitude, hope is always within reach. Let the horizon remind us that better days are ahead, and the light we seek is waiting, just beyond the clouds.

Patricia A Woods (PAW) pawtalks Hope